I feel like dancin' tonight.

Best thing of my life.

I can be your hero, baby.

Emma Watson is super classy.

This is not just being brought up because of Harry Potter, but because she is an all around good person.

She's beautiful, first of all. I know everyone is in love with her. Austin Brunson's favorite shirt in high school? Picture this... the front: "it just keeps getting better." The back: pictures of Emma from each of the Harry Potter movies. So true! And Blake and Shawn had posters of her all over their room. Tyler admitted he thinks she's gorgeous too. But she's not only beautiful, she's sweet too. Listen to the words of wisdom she gave in an interview:

"I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing. If I do a photo-shoot people desperately want to change me – dye my hair blonder, pluck my eyebrows, give me a fringe. Then there’s the choice of clothes. I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable. I’d never go out in a mini-skirt. It’s nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn’t do that.

Personally, I don’t actually think it’s even that sexy. What’s sexy about saying, “I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt… have a look at everything I’ve got”? My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder."

That's right! She's the kind of role model girls need these days. No more Hillary Duffs, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohans, or Miley Cyrus, the world needs more Emma Watsons. Even if she does hold hands with her hand in the front. Probably the producer's fault.

And she can pull of super short hair?!

She's my hero. Just sayin'.

The story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

This is a disaster.

Matt Nathanson is no longer my love. Well, not for now at least.

Why?

1. What the nose ring and facial hair?? Ick.

2. His new cd is a let down compared to his old one.

3. He's not making my heart beat faster right now.

So Chris Carrabba, congratulations. You no longer have any celebrity competition.

And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry.

Alright, some apologies are in order.

First off, sorry to everyone who does read my blog. I made some rude assumptions that none of my friends care about blog stalking me and I was rudely awakened to the fact that there are some faithful ones out there. So sorry, you know who you are.

Second, sorry to everyone on facebook who thinks they can find out anything about my life. I only post lyrics to songs as my status.es. Statusi? Irrelevant. Sometimes pictures give things away, but a lot of the time you can't really tell what people are feeling from pictures. If you really want to know about my life, just ask! I'm a talker, I'm happy to share.

Thirdly, sorry that I'm a terrible blogger even when I do blog. I'm working on it. I do like to write things out, so I really should do it more often. And sorry my life isn't terribly exciting to some of you.

Lastly, sincerest apologies to not being a better friend to some 0f you who read this. A weakness that I definitely have is keeping in touch with people that are not immediately or easily in my life. I still care a lot about a lot of people I'm not in touch with, I don't know why I'm so bad at keeping in touch but I am. So please don't think I don't care about you or your life, just contact me and tell me, helloooooo, remember how we're great friends? And I'll apologize again. Because I do love you.

24601.

"Who am I? Can I conceal myself for evermore? Pretend I'm not the man I was before? And must my name until I die be no more than an alibi? Must I lie? How can I ever face my fellow men? How can I ever face myself again? My soul belongs to God I know, I made that bargain long ago. He gave me hope when hope was gone, He gave me strength to journey on. Who am I? Who am I?"

By the time you're done reading that, you're probably belting it out, standing up with your hands raised, ready to shout "I'm Jean Valjean!!!" Me too! We all know I'm a sucker for Les Mis, I'd listen to it all day and night if I could. I dream about singing On My Own, as lonely, beautiful, forlorn, and daydreaming Eponine, the beautiful melody bringing tears to the listeners eyes. But let's be honest, that's not me. Nor will it ever be.

So, who am I?

I've been thinking about this question a lot lately. What is it that defines me as me? Am I truly unique? Or am I simply just a follower? How do others see me? Do they look up to me? Or do they pity me? But mostly, how do I see myself?

I think it is human nature, well, at least I like to tell myself that, to be a harsh judge of oneself. I know that I sure am. I often tell myself I want to be like this, or I want to accomplish that, and then constantly end up being disappointed in myself because I didn't do as well as I wanted to or couldn't bring myself to do it. Always I think, "Oh, if only I would have done that a few years ago, then I could be doing this." or "If only I was there instead of where I am, because I could have helped someone there so much better." I always feel like I'm never truly happy with what I do and who I am.

But, something else I think is human nature, there is always the seemingly contradictory but somehow complimentary thought process. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. We are lead to where we are, who we know, and what we do for a reason. Of course, there are always exceptions, because other people also have agency and can change course at any instant, but for the most part, EVERYTHING happens how it is supposed. And with no exceptions, we can get something good out of everything we go through.

So if I really do know that, why do I feel like I'm not in the right place?? Of course I am! Sometimes in the moment I can't see it. But looking back on the bigger picture, I can always see God's hand in my life, leading me to places and people I probably never would be or have met if I had been the one making decisions.

Two things I have really come to know in the past year:

First, I'm not in control. My mom recently told me that ever since I was little, I have always felt the need to be in control. This came down to things like bossing my siblings around, learning to read at a very young age so I wouldn't feel disadvantaged, and making sure my binkies and underwear matched. Who knew I was a control freak? I wouldn't have pinned myself as one, but when my mom pointed it out, I realized that is soooooo true. I still feel like I want to have control of my life. But you know what? There is so much that is just out of my hands, so much that I really have no control over. I think that is the number one reason why I am so stinking scared and nervous for the future. But looking back at my life since graduation, aka real life, my Heavenly Father has been lovingly guiding me through it all. And you know what? If I can't be in control, I'm sure glad to know that someone who is MUCH better at it than me is.

Second, I've learned that if I have a confirmation that something is right, that is good enough. I remember at seminary graduation Brother Frandsen gave this talk all about how life up until then had been us growing, but we'd had lots of structure around us, always showing us the right way to go and pushing us to make the right decisions. But as we left and moved away onto whatever we were going to do, school, work, missions, marriage, etc., it was going to be like the scaffolding was suddenly removed, and we were going to be left not alone, but without structure. It was time for us to make our own decisions, to suffer our own consequences, and reap our own rewards. That talk struck me and has stuck with me ever since. Also, that last year of high school I remember hearing a thousand times, "In the next five years you will make all the biggest decisions of your life, the decisions that will effect you for the rest of your life." And you know what? It's true! Where to go to school, what to major in, to have a career or not, to go on a mission or not, who to marry, when to start a family, and more. The decision to go to BYU and major in chemistry, well now biochemistry, has forever effected me, from the experiences I've had to the people I've met to the knowledge I've gained, I'll never be the same. I still haven't made a lot of those decisions, obviously, but I'm excited for when I do! But I know that I could make these decisions on my own, but I can only make the correct decisions with direction from Heavenly Father. Anyone who knows me knows I'm the most indecisive person. Ever. So making decisions is scary for me. But I've learned to pray about big decisions, and often I pray about little decisions too, and that has made all the difference. Getting that spiritual confirmation that my decision is the right one, that is THE best feeling for me. And even though it's scary to follow through sometimes, I know it's right and what I need to do.

So with these lessons I've learned, I've been applying them and becoming better, becoming more of the person I want to be. I'm so lucky also to have people in my life who see me in a different light than I see myself, and they're kind enough to tell me things I need to fix and urge me to always be better, but also kind enough to compliment me on the things I am good at, and help me see that I am good.

Who am I? Kaitlin Christine Wimmer. 20 1/2 years old. Working hard to get where I want to be, sometimes failing, but always learning. Biochemistry major. Oldest child. Learning to be domestic. Blessed with the best roommates in the world. Lucky to be dating the sweetest boy alive. Forever indebted to her Father in Heaven for letting her be born into a wonderful family, sealed in the temple, and have a knowledge of the true restore gospel.

Who are you?

Welcome back.

Once again, I've failed at blogging. At least I'm not failing any of my followers, because nobody actually follows my blog. So it's a comfort to know that you're only failing yourself and not others, right? Right.

But in all seriousness. I've been doing some blog stalking lately, because I have some friends that are having much more adventurous lives than I am right now, and it has made me want to blog again. Even if I'm not currently living in a foreign country. Or living a luxurious lifestyle. Or suffering through some large trial. Or doing anything of great importance it would seem. But you know what I do have? Thoughts. And lots of them!

I'm currently still working at my minimum wage job, with lots of fun high school aged co-workers, in all it's fruity glory. I am really am grateful for my job, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't be able to move out of my house or go to school at all without it - I'm just getting a little, okay a lot, sick of it. I have pretty much every smoothie recipe memorized. I am confident saying I am the fastest smoothie maker there. I can only do the whole special cleaning list by myself so many times before it gets old. Unfortunately and fortunately, my work ethic will not allow me to sit and read a book or play games on my ipod or surf the web while at work. When I'm at work, I'm there to work. There are plenty of other people there who can do the afore mentioned things and dirty the place up just fine. So, my work ethic kicks in and I clean up that store, every nook and cranny, every day. I'm becoming a champion of a cleaner, I'd say.

What is this whole rant is leading to? While at work, I do a lot of thinking. It may not look that way as I clean with a blank, sometimes disgusted, look on my face, but there's a lot going on in that head of mine. So, before I just let all these thoughts just slip away as they often do, I'm going to write them down. Here. On my forsaken blog. For myself. Selfish? A little. But fun to see how I've grown and who I've become, right? right.

The minor fall, and the major lift.

Well folks, one more semester down. I can't believe it. After one more semester I'm halfway done with my bachelor's degree and maybe my college experience. Hopefully not though, I'm still planning on graduate school. Anyway... I was crunching some numbers today.

Total money spent on tuition thus far: $4,420
Total money spent on books thus far: $828.21
Total money spend on housing this semester: $1,118
Total money spent on laundry thus far: $3.25
(Ops. I don't do my laundry even close to often enough.)
Total credit hours now earned: 82.50
Total hours spent in the library this past semester: 200+ hours
(That adds up to 9.2 days for those of you who wanted to know. Sick, right?)

These are gross numbers. All around. But...

Lessons learned: priceless and numberless.

I know that sounds cheesy, but really. What is this time in my life really for? I find myself asking this question frequently when I become frustrated with school and boys and friends and work and everything. It's for learning, about myself, about the world around me, about my purpose here on earth, and more importantly about my Savior and Heavenly Father and what I need to do to be able to prove my worthiness to them and make it back to live when them someday.

Sometimes when I look at those numbers and compare them with my gpa I think, "Gee. What a waste of my time and money. What I am doing with my life?" Then sometimes I look at those numbers and compare them with old journal entries and think, "Wow, I sure have grown up a lot and learned a lot of valuable lessons that have made and continue to make me a better person."

Basically what I'm trying to get at here is remember the bigger picture. This life is a test; are you doing all that you can to prepare for it? Procrastination is not going to work - I've learned that the hard way. So as Elder Winkel would say, keep the faith! And as Elder Hansen would say, find joy in the journey! Keep going, you can do it. And when you look back, it'll all be worth it.